I want others to change. I am angry at my parents for criticising me and my faith.

Who are you?

Hello Mr.Robbie,

I am very sorry for disturbing you. I found myself being criticized for my faith by my parents and girlfriend, something which makes me feel angry and sometimes I'm facing trouble staying content, thus not following the third precept. Is there any way I can manage to preserve a calm stay of mind and stay unaffected by negative words? I am greatly worried to find myself often wanting to go back to my previous philosophy because of the pressure applied on me for that matter, but on the other hand, as you saw yourself, my philosophy of life and the way things are is more on the Buddhist side. I surely found strength and compassion inside me, but I think I need some help on the anger part...what should I do?

Thank you for your time to read this.

Hello Friend,

Thank you for taking the time to write.

It always touches me deeply when a person writes to me to share their life, so I wanted to thank you and show my gratitude to you.

Together we can win in life. You are never alone. Never forget that.

When it comes to anger, I think the biggest thing to realise is that the reaction in our selves is often a reflection of how we feel about ourselves or our faith. If we feel insecure about our selves and our faith, this means we can easily become defensive, as we feel we are under attack.

However, when a person has a strong sense of identity, or an even stronger faith or high life state, they will not react in an aggressive way to even the most horrific criticism, as their confidence in them selves or their faith is unshakable.

Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can not hurt me. This may be a cliché but it rings true always.

No matter what others say about you, the single most important thing is how you feel about yourself and how you feel towards your faith.

Chanting earnest diamoku (nam myoho renge kyo) every day, will help you cut through this illusion.

You parents and your girlfriend should be able to see the changes in you as a person with your diamoku.

Using your prayers to transform your relationships with your parents and your girlfriend.

Often, what we want is for others to change. We raise our fists at these people and shout CHANGE CHANGE, WHY WON'T YOU CHANGE?

However, what you must realise is that you can NEVER get others to change. You are the one that must change.

In your heart a change must occur for this obstacle to pass. The more you chant for the happiness of your self and your family, things will change.

As you change, your environment will respond and so will the people in it.

Always focus on your prayer and your study. Learn more about Buddhist teachings.

Prayer, Faith and Study. These three things are key to cutting through the bullshit/illusion that is all around us.

This illusion comes in many forms but most of the time, it is all in our head.

As we create these strong beliefs, we project outwards and manifest situations, relationships, illnesses etc.

Never forget you have the gift of the Buddha nature, within you.

Limitless amounts of wisdom, courage and strength.

Chant Nam myoho renge kyo and use this to transform you life, let go of your anger and feel love.

Fond wishes
Robbie

Where is my good karma? When will it arrive?

This is you. Waiting for your good karma to arrive!

Dear Robbie,

I hope you remember me from few weeks, I wrote to you a letter about how I have some difficulties over the job situation I have. Since receiving your letter I have looked in to the positive side of things and have started to chant.

Since then I did come across few challenges and few things that have disturbed me in somewhat ways. If you remember I mentioned in the previous video but didn't elaborate on so much about the people who have betrayed me but it has become a challenge for myself to overcome. I have helped many people over the last few years, somehow I have always ended up getting hurt by them.

I have helped people to find jobs as well as helping them to apply for Uni's by helping them write applications for these, over the past years the only people who have back stabbed me and said things to me, spread bad rumours about me and used me are mainly the people I have helped.

Long story short, today I finally decided to confront a person who I have helped I asked them why they did what they did by back stabbing and not even have the mildest consciousness in them to understand that treating bad is not the way to do things and when someone has helped them they should understand and recognise it, and yes I was not in the right mood and I did lash at the person when I confronted her. The person who I have helped said so many bad things back to me and called me names and said that basically I'm not worthy. Although the words didn't really hurt me the fact that I have helped this girl and she was saying things to me hurt me more than anything.

I spoke to my fiancé and told him that from here after I would not help any person, please understand that this doesn't mean that I'm going to be rude to every single person, I’m just going to stay away from trouble. My fiancé explained that this is not the way to go and we all should help people and once they have betrayed you, that’s when we should leave it at that and move on and never ever help these people again, because one day this person will need your help and that's how karma works in this life.

I never doubted that helping people will bring you bad and grief but I just don't understand why I keep attracting the wrong people to my life. Robbie please help me to understand how I can stay away from bad energy, bad people in this world. It’s just hurts as a Buddhist that waiting for good Karma never seem to arrive... and wondering why bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people....

I hope you could give some sense to my life...

K

My response:

Hey K

Thanks for your letter. Of course I remember you. It wasn't that long ago! :D

I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing obstacles in your life and you feel that your good karma hasn't arrived yet.

I would challenge you on this, as having a fiance and being in love, is wonderfully good karma if you ask me.

Sometimes, we can become so transfixed by our problems that we forget about our blessings.

I would recommend that you write a list of all the things you are really and truly grateful for. Keep them next to you when you chant each morning and night.

You MUST focus on the positive things in your life. Because your life is like a mirror and your mind a magnet. The more you fixate on these people, pushing out the universe, "oh why me, oh poor me, why does all this happen to me, why do bad people always seem to find me?"

The more you put this energy out there each and every day, the more it will be reflected back to you. With out exception.

Each time you do this, you miss out the wonderful things you already have in your life and you dont show them the attention and gratitude they deserve.

Have a read of this post I did a while ago about why bad things happen to good people.

http://nichirenbuddhismlondon.blogspot.com/2010/10/why-do-bad-things-happen-to-good-people.html

Then let me know what you think about what I have said above.

At the end of the day, I encourage you to chant for the wisdom to deal with this situation.

I would chant for the happiness of that person that let you down. Chant for their total and absolute happiness. That is what the Buddha would have told you to do.

Holding on to resentment in your heart is like poison. It will ruin your day, your life and your future.

With every passing moment, you lay down karmic ripples. With your thoughts, your words and your actions. Always be aware of what you think, say and do because these all have latent and manifest effects at some point.

Focus on your diamoku and focus on improving your life and your goals. Give your self clear and strong determinations and even put dates next to them. Have 6 month goals. 1 year goals. 5 year goals.

Forget about people who dont appreciate you. Let them go. You can not change other people. No matter how hard you try, and how loud you shout. They will not change. The only way to change them is to change the way you see them. This happens in your heart.

To give love, help and attention with true compassion is to give with-out any requirement for something back.

Think about it this way.

You have this belief deep inside you, that people will betray you, people will let you down, no-one is to be trusted.

When you go around doing good things for other people, you are setting your-self up. You are setting your own trap.

People dissapoint and let you down. And your inner mind and deep self goes.. AHHH HAAA YOU SEE I WAS RIGHT!!! NO ONE IS TO BE TRUSTED!

Human beings are selfish. That is how many people survive in this tough world. However... it is your job as a buddhist to see through the illusions of arrogance, anger and greed. To see beyond that and see and know that every human being is capable of compassion love and great wisdom. To honestly and truely see their Buddha nature.

Try to change your prayer and focus on the positive.

But ultimately, you must trust in your life and trust in your prayer.

namaste friend.

Robbie
nam myoho renge kyo


K's response a few days ago.

Robbie,

Thank you so much for your prompt reply. First of all I just want to say that I really highly appreciate all your help. After reading your e-mail it made sense to me that it's in my hands to see things that we can't change, I need to change the way I think about things.

Before I received your e-mail I was still in a very disturbed and hurtful mood, so I started to chant and chant and tried not to think about or force myself not to think about things, and then when I opened my e-mail there it was a message from you, I was so happy so I start to read with a smile on my face. 

 I read word by word slowly and again and again and again. I understood everything that's going in my life and realised what was happening is a reason of not seeing things clearly.  

I then went to your blog and started to read another article that you had posted on "How to Chant Nam Myo ho Range kyo " so I read both articles and realised so many things that I knew already but was hard to understand and put it in practice. 

I have started to chant again with a smile on my face, it's hard to forgive and forget people who has done bad to you but I'm trying little by little everyday and I'm a working in progress, I know this doesn't happen overnight since we are working with our hearts and mind, but I'm using the Gohonzon and working through this. 

I spoke to my sister about the whole issue and I also showed her your site and told her that Robbie is also a Nichiren Buddhist and I write to him seeking advice on a spiritual level.

She started to read your blog and said, "wow I felt really good reading these reply's and articles I should save this blog " 

So Robbie thank you so much again, you opened my eyes, I probably didn't say thank you much for the people who have always been there for me and appreciate them for being there for me, after your e-mail I have started to look for the good in people that I love and care and concentrate on good things that I have already in my life.

Thank you again for writing to me and thank you again for understanding me, there are few people who do this type of good deeds in the world but if we have more of you then I think the world would be a better place, but that's what we are trying to achieve by practicing Buddhism.

Thank you again,

Namaste &Take Care,

K